Why I created Amavivere
“I refuse to keep doing this”… but what do I do instead?
Enneagram 3w2 + Aries (if you’re into that stuff). I love spending time laughing in a group of friends just as much as a good solo Netflix binge… that’s balance, right?
I should have found that exciting. I didn’t.
From the outside, my life looked good. I’d raised children I adored, built a successful career and become very good at being the person who could figure things out.
But privately, I felt like I’d lived the same year too many times. My body was changing. My children needed me differently. The career I’d spent decades building no longer felt like enough. And perhaps hardest of all: I didn’t really recognise myself anymore.
At 48, while contemplating walking away from the career I’d built my adult life around, I wrote myself a letter.
I knew I didn’t want to keep living the same way. The problem was, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted instead.
Around that time, I came across a post with a simple suggestion: If you don’t know what to pursue in life, pursue yourself.
That changed me.
I’d spent years being interested in everyone else’s lives, looking after the things that needed doing and working towards goals I’d set a long time ago.
But what did I want now? What made me feel good? What did I have to look forward to that was just for me?
I didn’t have particularly good answers.
So I started getting curious.
I learned about wellbeing, positive psychology, behaviour change and the things that influence how we experience our lives. I started paying more attention to my sleep, movement, relationships, routines and surroundings.
And rather than trying to overhaul everything at once, I began trying small things to see what actually worked for me.
Some things worked. Some didn’t. But something unexpected happened: for the first time in decades, I started getting genuinely excited about my future.
I started feeling like myself. I found things that brought me deep joy again. I started making plans that excited me.
Amavivere grew from everything I wish I’d had when I first found myself asking: “Is this it?”
I spent years trying to work out why a life that looked good on paper didn’t feel quite right anymore. I learned a lot along the way – including that I didn’t need to have all the answers before I could start making things better. Amavivere brings together research-informed ideas, practical experiments and the freedom to work out what actually matters most to you.
I’m still figuring things out – I don’t think that’s something we ever finish doing – but I like the woman I’m becoming. And I’m excited to see what she does next.
If any of this sounds familiar, perhaps it’s time to pursue yourself, too?
Danica
Founder, Amavivere
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